Livin' the Abbey life
In the 80s, Bryan Sprinkle did it all while living a closeted college life. The landscape was different back then, but he found his niche among friends and professors in Abbey land.
There is a moment from an old class taught by Fr. Christopher Kirchgessner that Abbey alum Bryan Sprinkle will never forget.
To set the scene, it was the beginning of the semester in the monk’s “Christian Sexuality.” Sprinkle said Kirchgessner initiated a discussion to create a comfortable atmosphere for all students. The monk went so far as to mention another student who revealed their sexuality to a class one day.
Fr. Chris held his ground, keeping everyone civil, the 1986 graduate recollected.
“He said he wouldn't tolerate jokes toward gay people,” the Dallas, Texas resident said.
It was a kind gesture. It was also one that a Mocksville, N.C. native appreciated, as he privately struggled with feelings for men.
“I suppressed it as much as I could,” Sprinkle said. “My focus was making sure no one found out I was gay.”
While Sprinkle didn't come out until he was 30, he looks back with regret about that decision. Not coming out in college.
And it's that secret, he admits, that kept him from truly loving his time at the Abbey. Even today, it's something he juggles with the great memories.
The Abbey 80’s
The accounting major stayed busy. While he took part in the Abbey Folk Society and The Abbey Players, the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity was his main commitment.
“It was so much fun (at the Abbey),” Sprinkle said. “I was with friends no matter what I was doing. We made beautiful music together.”
Sprinkle front row at right with guitar.
One close friend described Bryan as “the typical boy next door” during his time at Abbey.
“He was the popular kid, cute, friendly, talented,” Karen Heidt said. “He made friends easily and had a diverse group of people he would consider friends.”
Heidt graduated in 1987, and the two have stayed friends over the years. They recently visited when Sprinkle and his husband, Kyle Corum, made a vacation stop through Charlotte in May. Sprinkle and Corum have been together for 24 years.
Heidt seen in her Abbey days.
Heidt called the 1980s at the Abbey "Catholic-centric," saying many of her classmates were mainly Catholic, with many coming to get a Catholic-based education. They were knowledgeable of life inside and outside of the Abbey. At the same time, many considered the AIDS epidemic as a public health crisis. Many victims suffered in a time of denial of health care, while a lack of education caused widespread fear in America.
“We knew what gay was, but most did not know anyone who was gay. Eventually, we would come to understand we did know gay people; we just didn’t know anyone who had come out,” she said.
Mixing theater with academics
Sprinkle vividly recalled quality Abbey folk, including Dr. Dudko, Ms. Lynne Holstein, Fr. David, Fr. Michael, Fr. Mauricio, Fr. Paschal, and longtime Abbey Players director Simon Donoghue. Sprinkle's former roommate is current Bishop John Joseph McDermott (Burlington).
Donoghue has strong memories of the former student, referring to him as “a prolific participant” in the theater group. Sprinkle took part in several plays, including “COME RACK! COME ROPE!,” “Follies,” and “Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat.”
"I not only remember Bryan, we are still good friends and in regular communication," Donoghue said. "In addition to his talent, Bryan was and is one of the nicest people I know."
Donoghue recalled one moment during Sprinkle's fall semester in his first year.
“During the time he was at the college, Father Paschal was still physically able to bless casts before each performance,” he said. “We first met Bryan during the fall of his freshman year. One night after rehearsal Paschal and I were talking in the Haid. This was before it was renovated as a theatre, and at the time it was really one big open space on the ground floor. As we talked, a freshman glided into the “ballroom” on roller skates and proceeded to skate around the old basketball court floor. I think it was after 11 p.m. and we were both taken by Bryan’s aplomb and general niceness when he stopped skating to briefly say hello before skating back out into the darkness. Father Paschal invited him to audition for “COME RACK! COME ROPE!” and the rest, as they say, followed: performances, friendship and the rest.”
Sprinkle thrived with these professors and mentors.
“I felt loved and wonderful to be there (because of them),” he said.
Accounting professor Holstein was Sprinkle's advisor. He placed one moment when the stress of student life got to him during an exam. It was a shock.
“She pulled me out of the room,” Sprinkle said about the tongue-lashing. The young student said Holstein gave him a stern pep talk to his head back in the important test.
Finally, Sprinkle weighed in on another life-changing monk.
“I loved Abbot Oscar,” Sprinkle said of former Abbot Burnett. “He’s one of the most caring, giving humans I have ever met.”
Sprinkle at his Abbey graduation.
Coming out
While the religion demonized gay people nationally, it was a Catholic priest that he confided in about this sexuality. Sprinkle said his parents knew Fr. Jerry Lewis before their marriage and when Bryan was a baby.
“I started talking to him,” Sprinkle said. “(Soon I) started crying, and he gave me a hug.”
Over the years, Sprinkle has struggled with Catholicism, saying that it has both helped him and disappointed him as an adult.
His friends still attend mass and profess to be Catholic. While Pope Francis and now Pope Leo have made welcoming gestures toward homosexuals, he admits his alma mater's anti-homosexual direction is disheartening.
Heidt also grapples with her faith. She says her LGBTQ+ friends have always been her friends "despite what society and Catholicism believe about them.”
“My faith is enriched by my friendships,” she added. “It forces me to stand against the harsh words and antiquated understandings. It has been difficult to put into words at times, this pull and tug of Catholic teaching versus reality, but I always try to let my actions toward others speak for me.”
Sprinkle, at far right, in Charlotte. Heidt second from left. (Photo courtesy Kyle Corum)
Heidt and Sprinkle keep returning for reunions with Abbey folks. There’s lots of good news these days about the college. Some news not so great. Sprinkle admits that he has returned several times for homecoming and Sigma Phi Epsilon meetups.
But he always wonders about one thing.
“The thing that kills me is that there were no gay people out
when I was (at the Abbey),” he said.
How would that have changed the Abbey landscape in the 1980s? That's something we might never know.
“I wish the openness of today's society would have been around back then,” Sprinkle said. “I think anyone back then would have had a very hard time coming out back then.
Despite the Abbey’s staunch direction, Sprinkle says he wants future students to learn under the Benedictine academic tradition. Recently, he’s talked with his sister-in-law’s niece about attending. The quality of a liberal arts education is one he’d never forsake, or in this case, prevent someone from receiving his diploma.
“I think she'd do well there,” Sprinkle said.
It’s easy to say his heart won't leave the Abbey. Donoghue and others have seen it firsthand.
“At some point in the early aughts, I was working on hanging a picture in the actual theatre when Bryan walked in,” Donoghue reminisced. “Without missing a beat, I said, ‘Give me a hand with this, Bri.’ Which he did, but not before mentioning we hadn’t seen each other in years.”